


Shitty puns are not good

by peterstrahmsdick



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bad Puns, Double Penetration, F/M, First Time, Office Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Rough Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterstrahmsdick/pseuds/peterstrahmsdick
Summary: Shitty puns are not good comedy relief when you work for the FBI. Or have to deal with your easily-aggravated partner.
Relationships: Lindsey Perez/Peter Strahm
Kudos: 5





	Shitty puns are not good

**Author's Note:**

> this was a tad bit rushed i am sorry lolol :)

Peter Strahm was a dominate man.

That was clear to Lindsey Perez not even a few seconds after she met him. She had seen the way he would take control of cases and how he could intimidate others. However, that was all from a distance. It wasn't until she found out she'd be working with him and learnt what other agents meant when they'd warned her beforehand.

Now, five years into their partnership, Lindsey had learnt a lot about the man. Mostly common stuff, such as his interests and where he lived. What she didn't expect to learn was how dominate Peter actually was, _especially in bed_.

She didn't expect to end up having sex with him. It just... happened. A tough case led to a few glasses of wine and beers, then to her unbuttoning her shirt and then with him pounding her. It wasn't as if she hadn't enjoyed her times with him. Hell, she almost loved the shit he would do to her. She knew it was bad that she was sleeping with him, but she didn't give a damn. Not when he made her feel so special.

Lindsey Perez currently sat infront of her boss' desk, listening to her partner and Erickson bicker back and forth about the case they were on.

"Even if we do that, he probably won't turn up at the hearing-"

"That's like the deaf girl who didn't show up to her court case yesterday. She lost her hearing." The men around her stared at her for a moment and then went back to bickering. This hadn't been the first time she'd made a stupid pun that day - the dumb jokes were the only things getting her through this meeting.

Lindsey watched from the corner of her eye as Peter took his phone from his pocket. Her thoughts went to him possibly checking the time which made sense - this meeting was a little pointless after being giving (shitty) legal advice. She focused her attention back to her boss, who was excusing himself to speak to his assistant. He left the room.

Against her rib, she felt her phone buzz and pulled it out, checking who messaged her.

_"One more stupid pun and I'm gonna bend you over the desk and fuck you in front of our boss."_

Fuck - her jokes were probably not the best to be making right now, but it was an attempt to clear the tension in the room. She turned to Peter and stared at him. He simply looked at her with a slight glare on his face. She winked back at him, softly biting on the end of pen.

"I said what I said. So, either you stop fucking around or else." He growled through gritted teeth. _  
_

"Ohohoh, I can't wait for you to shut me up." As soon as the words left her mouth, his hand was on her thigh, digging into her skin. 

" _Watch your fucking mouth_." He growled threatingly at her, turning back around when their boss came back intot he room. Nothing seemed to process through her mind after that - all that went through her head were those four words he'd spoken.

"Lindsey?" Erickson saying her name and her partner roughly kicking her foot brought ehr back to reality. Her mind was blank as she tried to remember anything they had spoken about in the past twenty minutes.

"I- um..." Her throat felt dry as she sat there and attempted to process what was happening. 

"No thank you, I think we'll be able to sort _something_." And with that, they left. Lindsey still had no clue about what had been said, but knew that it couldn't be good due to the abrupt departure. Peter dragged her by the arm, hurrying down the corridor to his office, where he shoved her in and slammed the door behind him. He pinned her to his desk as his hand gripped onto her jaw. Thinking back on it, she wished she hadn't screwed around.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Peter's stare was cold; his eyes burned into hers whilst his other hand groped her thighs. Her mouth was slightly agape as her mind went amd as it tried to piece a coherent sentence together.

"I don't know what you mean." Lindsey smiled sweetly back at him. His face changed and the next thing she knew he was off his belt. She watched as he tossed it aside, pulling down his trousers next. "Oh."

"Come on, _princess_. You were practically begging me to fuck you just now, hurry up and soak me with your spit. That's all the lube you'll get when I pound you." Peter spoke, in a low, taunting way, forcing her to her knees. Lindsey took his dick into her mouth, coating it in a mix of spit and pre-cum.

His hand was tangled in her hair as he guided her back and forth on his cock. Through the gag noise she made, there was a muffled moan, and her hand went from holding the base of his dick to resting on his thigh. He pushed her head further, testing how far he could go. Her eyes locked with his as she moaned around him - her nails dug into his thighs whilst the pain in her jaw slowly increased. 

Lindsey eyes were watery with tears and her lungs burned for (at least) a moment to breathe. She watched as his chest rose and fell as he groaned, completely focused on the pleasure she gave him. The need for attention left her sneaking into the waistband of her skirt and entering her underwear, driving her hand up and down her cunt. The flesh was soft, fingers quickly becoming slick with her wetness. She felt his hands tighten in her hair, twisting the curls around his fingers. Unable to focus on the dick in her mouth and her hand on her clit, she twitched out of the blue as her nail caught onto the side of cunt, and estranged feeling of pain and lust running going up her body. 

It had become obvious Lindsey was close due to the carelessness she put into the blowjob. He had to end this before she came and ruined the punishment she was getting. Practically rippping himself from her throat, he stood back and watched as she coughed from the sudden movement. The sight Peter took in was just fucking dirty, like a scene right off of a shitty PornHub video - saliva dripped from her mouth whilst her hand was still under her skirt.

"Get on the desk. Now." She scrambled up, fingers still wet. Her skirt scrunched around her waist as she took off her underwear and threw it onto his chair. He watched as she propped herself on the edge of the wood and leaned back a bit, spreading her legs. He could sense she was nervous and it was clear she knew what was coming. 

"I- uh, I've never done this before.." Peter walked over and took the wet fingers to his lips, licking off her juices. As she stared at him, her mouth was open and she trailed off. His now-moist hand drove up her cunt and collected the arousal that had gathered - it seemed to be enough.

"Well, you have nothing to worry about, it's just me." A finger teased her entrance and pushed deeper into the tight ring of muscle. Her body muscles tensed, but she attempted to play it off as a shiver - it didn't work, a small laugh escaping his mouth as he drove the finger deeper. By the time his finger was at the first knuckle, she was panting slightly and clenching around him.

"Princess, loose yourself up before I have to." Peter stared into her eyes as his other hand to start to play with Lindsey clit in a way to distract her.

"It feels weird-"

"Just imagine how you're gonna break when my dick is inside you." The way he smirked down at her was starting to make her clench hopelessly around the finger inside her. Lindsey bit her bottom lip and willed herself to calm down as his thumb circled her clit. Her hips arched as her hand made its way up his arm, nails digging in lightly - she gave another cry and he groaned impatiently, removing his finger from her ass. The thought of it being over partially excited her, but it couldn't be over so quickly. Not with Peter in control.

"You're quite lucky to be getting this treatment from me today." He pulled the finger from her, bringing his hand up to his mouth to spit on. His lips crashed onto hers as he resumed his act on her.

It took a while to work the first finger back into her, let alone the second. Once he did, it was smooth sailing. Lindsey chest heaved as she tried to focus on anything but his fingers, the burning stretch that was happening, not allowing her mind to wander to the fact that soon his dick would be in her. 

She cried out in a mumble of pain and arousal as soon as her started to scissor her. Peter pumped his fingers out of her and listened to the lewd moans that left her mouth. His two fingers worked as fast as they could, stretching her out ready for him. His lips were no longer on hers, now against her ear, her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Well, I think you're ready for the main event." He removed his fingers from her ass, taking the head of his dick to stroke against her folds, trying to lubricate himself.

"I- wait- oh- you were being serious about all of this?" Lindsey unwrapped her arms from around him, staring at him in disbelief. 

"Why the hell would I joke about punishment? It's what a _bitch_ like you deserves." Peter growled, roughly shoving into her, causing a pained cry to leave her body. Her hands flew to his arms, nail digging in hard from the pain. He shifted his hips backwards and snapped back into her as his free hand (the other one was holding her shaking body still) circled her clit once again. Lindsey's arms snaked their way around his shoulders and neck. The stretch was intense, and her ass was practically squeezing the life out of his dick, but the feeling of pleasure was something she had never felt before.

"God- you're so good- your slutty asshole is trying to milk me- god" Suddenly, he had a new favoruite hole. 

Peter hips slammed into her over and over as she buried her face in his neck, an attempt to hide the tears that had appeared from earlier. Her nails dug into his back, a slight grunt escaped his lips as she pounded her harder. The pain from earlier had almost become a distant sensation, her hips now rocking against his as her body seeked out pelasure. Lindsey tried to keep up with his brutal pace, but he saw this as a challenge as he moved his mouth from her ear to her neck, biting into the skin and earning a moan from her. 

He was pretty much on top of her as he made the most out of the attack on her neck, making bites and then moving his mouth somewhere else. The intense tightness was something he'd never felt before and had chosen her neck to focus on so he didn't cum so soon into the fun. 

"God, are you enjoying this? You fucking slut." His tone was strong, almost insulting. The pitch was low and the almost out of breath sound as he continued fucking her worked right down to the bone, showing him how much his voice can do to her - all there was as a response was a whine when he bit her neck once more. 

The cry (more of a strained scream) that left Lindsey mouth when his finger entered her cunt was downright sinful. A shiver ran up her spine as the dual stimulation took control of her body. Her hands scrambled to find something to stable her as his thrusting went animalistic. She managed to harshly scrape her nails up and down his back when the pain from earlier returned. 

"Fuck-" It was hard to talk with not much air in her lungs, and the feeling from being double penetrated wasn't helping either. It also didn't help when he added a second finger to her cunt. "I'm gonna cum, please!"

"God, you're such a whore, cumming from your ass being fucked." The was a small pinch of pain as he felt her hands moved from his back and to his hair, tugging on it. He gave one last bite to her neck and pulled back to watch as she came. 

Peter's hand clamped over her mouth as she came, knowing from previous time she wasn't the quietest when it came to her orgasm. Her chest heaved, nails digging harder into his scalp as she cried into the palm of his hand. She felt his fingers leave her and go back to rubbing her clit, probably a way to keep her quiet again.

"You're such a mess. I should've made you my anal bitch weeks ago." He removed his hand from Lindsey's mouth and listened as her cries turned into soft whimpers, mascara running from her eyes.

She thought it was over as soon as she came - all that was gone when Lindsey felt his hips slam into her again. He tried to make the pleasure last longer for the sake of it, but with the sight of her crying over his touch and the feeling of him inside her was proving to be a lot.

"You want me to cum in your ass?" Peter went back to her neck, now choosing to bite her collarback. "Use your words, princess."

"Please! Please cum in me. I won't ever be a brat again-" A cry left her lips as his mouth bit over one of his pre-made marks. She was a shivering, panting mess - the double penetration and slightly over-whelming orgasm really sent her. Pressing her lips back against his, she felt him groan into her mouth as he came. He was buried deep inside her ass as he felt her shaky hands leave his hair and trail down his neck, holding him close. 

It was a while before they decided to move - mostly because they knew that if they stayed like this any longer someone could walk in. Peter was the first to move, pulling out and walking behind her to retrive the abandoned underwear. She took the pair from him and went to put it on, but was stopped by his hands.

"Huh, guess it was a good thing I had a cold last week." He took a couple of tissues from the box on his desk and gently wiped her thighs and his dick. "I suggest going to the bathroom to, y'know, fix your face. You look like you were kept hostage."

Once she was dressed and cleaned up, she took her phone from her pocket and checked her face in the camera, "Yeah, I see what you mean. Thanks." A slight grimace appeared on her face after seeing how she looked.

Lindsey wasn't even halfway out the door when Peter grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her close, looking around warily. "No one can ever find out about us." He let go of her and she left, attmepting to walk normally. 

His words had struck with her throughout the day - she had no idea what he was talking about, but she could sense something was off.

**Author's Note:**

> am i gonna write a part two? probably
> 
> happy halloween lads


End file.
